


Team Fortress Demigod AU

by TheeWrites_TF2



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Greek Mythology, Canon-Typical Violence, Demigod AU, Gen, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, RIP Medic's Patience, RIP Sniper's hat, To Be Continued
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2019-01-26 22:23:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12567528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheeWrites_TF2/pseuds/TheeWrites_TF2
Summary: “Mein friends, we are only half human. The other half, of our DNA, comes from Gods themselves.”Almost immediately after the word ‘Gods’ left Medics mouth, Scout whirled around to glare at Demo, “Dude, what the fuck did you let Medic drink?”(Or, Author decided to try and write a Demigod AU, with a bunch of dorky Mercs. Did it work? Well, lets see...)





	1. The Reveal, PART 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Well, here it is, the long awaited Demigod AU! This is to be part 1 of 3, having previously planned as a One-shot, until the overachieving side of me realized that, I wasn't even halfway through and yet had already reached over 3000 words.
> 
> So, with that in mind, I will be splitting this up into three parts... Part 2 will come out November 8th, and expect part 3 to follow shortly afterwards!
> 
> I wont bore you much longer with notes, just please keep in mind that this is an AU, I don't own Valve or TF2, enjoy this piece of fiction, and feel free to leave a review, helpful tips or any types of commentary! 
> 
> Warnings: RIP Sniper's hat, RIP Medic's Patience, language warnings, Barely an attempt at writing accents, everyone is immature and wants to fight (more than usual) and you have to wait a bit until part 2. Welcome to TF2

“Gentlemen, Pyro… I have gathered you all here tonight, because we are all different. We all come from different backgrounds, different levels of, ahem,  _ experience.” _ The Mercs blinked and looked between each other as Medic avoided looking at them for a moment. The desert was slightly cool, the sun having gone down roughly an hour prior and the bonfire the men of RED surrounded crackled into the clear night sky. Medic allowed the silence to continue for a moment, as he grabbed a rather large file from the assorted books, papers and blood bags he had dragged from the base. “Now, we all previously believed that these were the only thing that separated us from the common man… However, I have found there is something even greater at work, something that goes beyond us.”

Medic fixed his glasses as he paced, flipping through the file. Sniper gave Heavy a curious look, and received a shrug in return. Medic lifted up a piece of paper triumphantly, “Mein friends, I have taken a small amount of blood samples from each of us-” “Small? Dude, you sucked out all the blood from the limbs we left behind on the battlefield!” Scout retorted, and a few men grimace, muttering under their breath. “Aye, I saw you draining blood out me blown-off leg! I couldn’t sleep after seeing that, for a week!” Demo insisted, and Medic waved his hand dismissively.

“Bah, it was for science, be glad I didn’t wait until you were all asleep or drugged.” 

“ _ Bloody vampire… _ ”

_ “ANYWAY! _ ” He snapped, silencing the group, “Because of the blood I _ acquired _ through various, but NECESSARY ways, I was able to cross analyze our blood types. During which, I,” Pulling out another piece of paper, which held much more words, he raised it for everyone to see. “I took the time to look over everyone's DNA.” Soldier snapped up, “ You WHAT? Maggot, I swear, if you have injected my pure-blooded American DNA- with the blood of some type of amphibian- _ or your goddamn pigeons-  _ I will drop-kick your Ubersaw RIGHT UP YOUR-” “ENOUGH.” Spy snapped, irritated at being dragged out to this hellish landscape, away from the comfort of his own room. “Let the good doctor finish.”

“Ja, thank you.” Medic said, fixing his glasses. “Upon looking through the fascinating history your DNA told, it came to my attention that, I was reading the DNA history of only ONE of your paternal or maternal processors.” He placed the file carefully alongside his other supplies, he picked up a dusty old green book, blowing the dust off of it. “Of course, to create one human, you need the DNA code of both a man and a woman, human. And, after going over the blood samples again, I came to one conclusion.” Medic turned, eyes bright and a huge grin on his face as he held the book tightly in his hands.

“Mein friends, we are only half human. The other half, of our DNA, comes from  _ Gods themselves.” _

Almost immediately after the word ‘Gods’ left Medics mouth, Scout whirled around to glare at Demo, “Dude, what the fuck did you let Medic  _ drink _ ?”

"Nothing in me stash is THAT strong, I swear!"

"Alright men, it is time to  operation ' _ Beat the crazy out of Medic! _ '  I have been preparing for this one for months! Scout, go grab us a large branch while Sniper and I tackle the deranged man into the dirt! Dell, go grab my shovel, in case we need to dispose of Scout, he will rat us out to the cops the minute the doc is down!"

"Solly, you moron, I ain't gonna rat you idiots out to the cops-"

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT A TRAITOROUS RAT WOULD SAY!"

"Dude, what the hell are yo- HRK!!!"

"ADMIT IT MAGGOT! YOU ARE A TRAITOR AND YOU HAVE BEEN PLANNING OUT OUR DEMISE FOR MONTHS!"

Heavy watched the spectacle of Soldier choking the Boston boy, who was rapidly turning blue face while Demo cheered him on and Engie attempted to stop the fighting, before raising a brow to a red-faced Medic, who looked absolutely outraged at the continuous interruptions. Sighing, the Russian mountain stood from his log, gesturing for the Australian to do the same. After making sure the tall Australian was a couple feet away, Heavy calmly lifted the log the two had previously been sitting on over his head, before throwing it onto the ground, the poor log exploding into splinters at the force. The silence was immediate, as was the whining as everyone started plucking off the splinters that had ricocheted onto their clothes and hair. 

“Silence, all of you. Listen to Medic, or I will break something over than a log.”

Everyone quieted down, as the Russian sat down on the ground. Sniper followed shortly after, grumbling under his breath, “You broke our seat.” Heavy grunted in response, crossing his arms.

Medic took a deep breath and closed his eyes, straightening his tie as he calmed his irritation. “Alright. If the interruptions are DONE, I will be glad to explain these new changes to your identity.” Engineer nodded, leaning forward, “That would be mighty helpful, doc. I took a small semester on Greek mythology in 51’, something to past the time, and, last time I checked, Demigods are the products of a human and a God.” Medic brightened, nodding “Ja, exactly!”

Engineer frowned, “That would mean the Greek Gods would have to exist, and pardon my ol’ fashioned mind, but I was raised to know only one God.” Medic shrugged, handing him the green book he had been flipping though. ‘Well, perhaps after tonight's events, that opinion will change.” He stepped back, allowing the Texan to flip though the book, eyes narrowed and judging as he read the words. “Doc, this is a fictional novel with  _ mentions  _ of Greek gods, this isn't an actual-”

Medic quickly interrupted his rant. “It’s the closest thing we had to an accurate book on Greek Mythology, blame the terrible book choices of MannCo. Now then, I have found a way to communicate with the Gods themselves,” Medic said, stepping in front of the fire before the other mercs. A grin split across his face, highlighted horribly by the glow of the fire behind him. “However, it requires a sacrifice.” Almost instantly, everyone avoided making eye contact with the German, except for Sniper, who sat up with a startled, “A _ wot _ ?” 

“Ah, Lawrence, perfect.” Medic chirped, slowly walking towards the Australian. Sniper frowned, leaning back from the man as he crept closer. “Now, now, Hold on a moment…. W-when you say sacrifice, wot EXACTLY did you have in mind…” “Oh, don’t worry,” Medic said, staring down at the Australian with a unnerving glint in his eyes. “It will all be over soon.” The German doctor snapped his red glove, before reaching down towards the Sniper. Sniper cast a quick glance at his teammates, before squeezing his eyes shut as he felt the gloved hand atop his hat. Lawrence felt the weight of his head suddenly disappear, and he opened his eyes to look up in confusion at medic, who was examining his hat carefully.

“Real leather, Ja?”

‘... Well… Yeah, but wot are yo-”

“Crocodile teeth are real too?”

“...the fuc- YES, now what are you doin-”

Medic smiled at Sniper, before turning and tossing into the bonfire, causing Pyro to clap in delight, and Spy to snort in amusement, upon seeing the shocked look on Snipers face. “OI!” He shouted, leaping to his feet and grabbing the doctor by his collar, “I've had that hat for nearly six years! It survived bullets, rockets, countless Respawns… And you just throw it into the fire?!” Medic simply raised a finger, stating in a matter-of-fact tone, “I read in the book, that the sacrifice of cows can summon the Greek Gods-” “It’s a book from the dollar store, Medic, it's not a reliable source of information.” Engie stated, still flipping through the book with Scout watching over the shoulder. “Y'know, if the doc turns out to be right, does that mean we got superpowers?” Engie grumbled, flipping through the book, “Medic has to be right first.”

Soldier stood up, cracking his knuckles. “ Alright, I think we can ALL agree that Medic has lost it this time! Sniper, on the count of three, we are going to tackle Medic and beat the insanity right out of him! Engie, go grab the shovel-” “I'm reading, ask someone else, Jane...” “-Demo, go grab a shovel, and be prepared to take out the Scout!” Demo gave him a thumbs up, before turning to Heavy, “Five bucks says Aussie gets his arse kicked into next week by the Doc.”

Heavy gave him a glare, and across the bonfire, Spy stood up. “Gentleman, Scout, It has been a long week for us all… Apparently much more so for the Doctor. Now, I personally do  _ not _ want to have to explain our presence at the nearest clinic, why three of our members decided to beat each other up over a ridiculous hat-”

“Ridiculous?!” Sniper snapped, any patience he may have had wearing remarkably thin. “Y’know wot? Sol, I’m down for _ assistin’ _ the good Doc of whatever mental fix he probably inflicted on himself from those bloody fumes he sniffs! Give me a countdown, and ‘m ready!”

Medic chuckled a bit nervously, glancing between the eager American and the pissed-off Australian, quietly debating whether if revealing his genius hypothesis on their Godly DNA was worth getting beat-up by two of his teammates. “Alright, Maybe this wasn’t the  _ best  _ way to reveal our lineage, but I can assure you that the end result, with the truth of our parantage, will make the minimal sacrifice of your beloved hat all worthwhile.” Sniper glared in response.

Scout grinned, leaping to his feet to watch the upcoming fight, “Oh, this is gonna be  _ good _ .“

“Aye, Placed my money on the Doc.”

“Fighting so near the fire is not a good idea. Both Doctor and Sniper will fall in. Watch and see.”

_ ‘ONE!” _

“Alright, boys, lets just sit down, settle our tempers…”

“You kiddin’, hard-hat? Don’t stop this, this is gonna be awesome!”

“Scout, seriously, Do YOU want to explain to the Boss why two of are members fell into a bonfire, ‘cause I sure don’t.”

“Mmrph Hummph, HADDHUPH!”

_ “TWO!” _

At this point, no one was paying attention to the flames of the bonfire, which has begun to flicker and grow, the flames crackling wildly. Only Pyro took notice, and pulled on Scouts pant leg to grab his attention, mumbling something vaguely alarmed, but their hand was shooed away, “Not now, mumbles.”

“Bushman, honestly, it was an ugly hat anyway.”

“YOU, shut it! It’s been a ridiculously long week, my hat just got thrown into a fire and now this quack is trying to tell me one of my parents is a GOD. ‘m out of patience.”

The flames were growing unnaturally large, much to Pyro’s fascination and slight concern, as no one else was witness to the sight.

_ “TWO AND A HALF, _ Demo, where's that shovel?”

“Oh my god, Sol, For the last time, I’M NOT RATTIN’ YOU OUT TO THE DAMN CO-”

Suddenly, a huge force slammed into the eight Mercs and Pyro, as the bonfire roared up high into the sky, the flames wild and at an unbearable heat. Then, the flames quickly settled as fast as they had suddenly attacked. Sniper slowly sat up first, still gripping onto Medic, all malice gone. “... Uh… Was that supposed to happen?” Medic sat up, shrugging as he fixed his glasses, “No idea,” he said honestly, as the others slowly sat up, hands twitching to their weapons as they watched the fire wearily. Then, a small flame from the bonfire separated from the rest of its fiery pack, darting along the ground and towards the German and the Australian, who were the closest to the fire. Sniper took one look at this, before shoving his friend towards it. “ _ ‘It’ll all be over soon’ _ , right Doc?” 

Medic ignored the little jab, curiously watching the small stream of flames weaving along the ground towards him, before taking off a glove. “Gentleman, I believe I am about to prove my point.” He said, before shoving his bare hand into the flames. Soldier jerked, “Men, we have lost the doctor! He will be mourned, but I believe we should leave him to the fate of the possessed fire!” Everyone ignored his declaration, watching in a stunned silence as the flames slowly began to materialize in Medic’s palm, the doctor himself somehow not screeching in pain as the flames danced over his skin.

“Holy crap… Fire doesn’t usually do that, right?” Scout asked, looking at Pyro, who was gleefully watching the show. Spy rolled his eyes, “No Scout, fire does not usually seek out mercenaries to attack…” The masked man frowned, leaning forward as the color of the flames along Medic’s hand began to change. “... Nor does fire turn grey upon human contact…”

As the flames began to materialize and shape in Medic’s palm, loosing it's orange and red color and turning into a silver-grey, Medic grinned boldly. “ _ Unglaublich… _ ” He breathed, as the once glowing amber flames transformed into a silvery owl in his palm, the grey eyes boring into him. Medic turned to his team, grinning. “Athena, goddess of wisdom.” He said proudly, nodding to the owl. Engineer looked astonished, quickly moving over to look over at the owl, “Your being serious here? This ain’t some fancy light trick?” He asked, hesitantly reaching out towards the image of the bird. The owl leaned back, eyes sharp, before suddenly disintegrating, the flames returning and rushing back into the bonfire. Engie blinked, sending a sheepish glance at Medic, “Uh, sorry.”

Medic shrugged, standing with a grin, “No matter. I got my answer… Athena. Mein  _ mutter… _ ” After a small moment of internal thought, He smirked, turning smugly to the other mercs. “I’m sure the brilliant idea of offering Herr Sniper’s hideous, but useful hat was what made her decide to  _ finally _ reveal herself to me.” Sniper snorted, crossing his arms, though he looked at bit pale from the show he had just watched. “So, uh…” Scout said hesitantly, looking between Medic and the bonfire. “Say ALL of us may have… Gods as parents… Do we have to burn another hat to find out?” The Boston reached up to hold his own hat protectively, not eager to have it receive the same treatment as Snipers had had. Demo popped open a beer, shaking his head. “Aye, I don’t think Longshot over there is going to appreciate that, lad.” Sniper scowled, “Why is everyone trying to burn MY hats? Seriously, I think Spy has some leather couches in his room, go burn one of those!”

Spy glared, finally breaking his silence, “Lawrence, I know you are still mourning the loss of your hat, but this is getting rather ridiculous.” As the two began to bicker, Heavy gazed around the group, from Soldier who was poking towards the fire with a shotgun, (a disaster waiting to happen) Medic and Engineer looking through that small, dollar store book that contained minor mentions of Greek gods, quietly discussing and theorizing. Heavy glanced at Demo and Scout, who were both sipping beer while Scout began to brag about he predicted his Greek parentage could be. As Spy and Sniper continued to argue, Heavy felt his patience waver… 

As did Demo, as he suddenly launched up, and with a loud, “SHUT IT,” threw his half-empty bottle between the two. Instantly, the flames from the bonfire turned a fierce violet, much to Pyro’s delight as they clapped at the spectacle. Medic turned to the fire, then grinned, “Ah, that makes much more sense,” he told Engie, before turning towards Demo. “Dionysus, mein friend, God of madness, fertility, wine-” “-Aye, sounds about right.” Demo said, sitting back down. “Glad we got that out of the way, good luck to the rest of you.” Demo popped open another bottle, pleased that he was able to get his Claiming out of the way. Medic stood, looking between the other Mercs, “Engineer and I have come up with a list of possibilities, however, there are two or three of you that will, more or less, be a complete surprise,” He said, and Soldier paused from his poking of the fire, looking up. “Surprise?” He asked, and Engie nodded, “Yes, look here.” He picked up a pencil from his bag, using the book as a makeshift notepad. “Me and doc here, we figured that each of the symbols of the ‘gods’-” He frowned momentarily, as though still struggling to comprehend this whole event. “...Should appear when they chose to claim us. These are the symbols we predicted as, Medic’s was an owl and Demo was a-”

“That one’s mine,” Soldier was suddenly next to the Texan, pointing at his drawing of an fierce battleaxe. Engie blinked, then shook his head, “Well, I don’t think you can CHOOSE one, Sol…” “I just did.” Soldier said stubbornly, then took a second glance at the picture he chose, “God of War, sounds right to me!” Scout nodded, leaning over to look over Engineers shoulder, “I mean, yeah, that’s kinda the only one that makes sense…” He suddenly smirked, looking at Soldier. “Hey, throw your shotgun into the fire, i’m sure you'll get ‘claimed’ then.” Engineer rolled his eyes, turning to the younger man, “Scout, i’m sure that's not how it-” “SOLDIER, NO!” Medic shouted, before quickly shielding himself as Soldier definitely tossed his gun into the flames, with a proud, “OORAH!”

Everyone braced for the full impact of an exploding shotgun, but nothing happened, much to Soldiers disappointment. “Hmm. Didn’t work. Maybe we should go grab a bomb.” He suggested.

“Um, how about no?”

“Jane, I admire your... dedication to solving this mystery, but I don't think that THROWING A BOMB INTO AN OPEN FIRE is going to solve anything.”

Pyro mumbled in disappointment, before suddenly pointing intently at Soldier. “Hu HUARDA!” They shouted, and everyone turned to look at Soldier. Engie’s eyes went wide, and quickly looked between the American and his paper. “What the… Doc, is this correct?” He asked, and Medic quickly ran ver, grabbing the DNA files he had brought with him. “Well, I mean…” Scout suddenly pushed the doctor out of the way, grabbing the book containing Engines drawings. 

“... Oh my god.” Scout said, before bursting into laughter when he looked at soldier. “OH MY GOD!” As Scout proceeded to nearly fall over on himself with laughter, Soldier decided to look up over his head, to see what all the fuss was about. “Wait… is that a..”

“Erm, appears so.”

“... But… That means…”

“Goddess of FUCKIN’ LOVE, that's hilarious!” Scout said between chuckles, while Soldier glared up at the pink heart that had taken place over his helmet. “I… honestly wasn't expecting that.” Dell said, looking at Soldier in concern, as he had not verbally reacted since the hearts appearance. “... Jane, you good?” Soldier slowly nodded, “...It makes sense.” He said calmly, and Medic and Engineer shared a concern glance. “It… it does?” Medic asked hesitantly, and Soldier slowly nodded. “Yes. I am the perfect specimen of American beauty, the only logical explanation would be that the beauty came from the Gods themselves!” 

Scout practically dissolved into a laughing fit, while Sniper and Spy both groaned in annoyance and Heavy just shook his head. Medic looked like he had begun to regret this entire idea of revealing the identities of his teammates, but sighed and stepped forward. 

“Alright… Who wants to try next?

 


	2. The Reveal: PART 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The black Scotsman scoffed, looking at his bottle. “‘Hear them bossin’ me around, dad? Give me some good Greek magic, and ‘d pop ‘em over the head with some good alcoholic magic, what’d you say? Some good father/son time?”
> 
> The bottle gave no response, for it was just a bottle, and not a Greek god. Demoman was undejected, and tipped the bottle back, emptying the contents into his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. Wow, part 2! Time to dive back in for insanity, booze and some angsty Mercs who are coming to terms with their apparent 'godly' parentage.
> 
> Y'know, normal as Team Fortress can be!
> 
> Anyway, THIS chapter quickly proceeds a whooping 3500 word mark, so I hope y'all enjoy! This little AU will wrap up with chapter 3, which comes out on NOVEMBER 18! MARK YOUR CALANDERS, CALL UP YOUR FRIENDS, SET ALARMS!
> 
> Also, feel free to check out other upcoming, or already released one-shots! The closest upcoming three-shot will be a Game of Thrones Au, PART , coming on Nvember 10. A bit more angsty then this three-shot, but I hope to see y'all there to check it out!
> 
> Anyway, onto the show! Please, feel free to give some feedback in the comments, I love to know what you guys think, or hw you think I can improve!
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy!
> 
> Warnings: Slight language, frustrated Mercs, slight angst, clingy Pyro, bonfires are dangerous kids, a wink to Scout's dad, some awkward moments, family issues and BOOZE. Also, over a week long wait for the anticipated finale (Totally worth it) Welcome to TF2.

**About fifteen minutes later...**

Medic was on his third beer, while Soldier and Engineer continued to argue in front of the fire.

“Dammit Sol, we are NOT throwin’-”

“RESPAWN IN UP AND RUNNING, PRIVATE! I SEE NO ISSUE WITH MY PLAN.”

Engie punched the bridge of his nose, a headache arising in his skull. “Soldier. Jane. Please, I don't want to be the one to explain to the boss, why our Soldier decided to throw himself into a goddamn fire, for  _ NO REASO- _ ”

Dead serious, Soldier interrupted him, “I am the most gorgeous being within a forty-eight-mile radius,  _ my own mother was a goddess! _ If anyone among us is the perfect candidate to being sacrificed in the name of a German Doctors insane theory, IT’S ME DAMMIT!”

Normal, sound-minded people would be concerned about this statement. The eight men lounging around the dying campfire, either ignored him, groaned in annoyance, or burst out into another fit of tear-inducing laughter, like Scout. Medic took another gulp of the beer, sitting next to the tall Russian man. “Gentleman, honestly. My hypothesis has already been proven, I don’t think ve need to burn every living zhing within sight. I think ve’ve learned enough tonight.” The tall man, rooming on the log opposite from the German, snorted and pointed to his hat-less head. “Oh, so NOW ya wanna stop burnin’ people's things, eh?”

“Sniper,  _ for gods sake _ , I already promised you a new one-!”

“Liked my old one just fine.”

“I dunnae, ya look good with hat-hair…”

“Demo, drink ya beer and stay outta this!”

The black Scotsman scoffed, looking at his bottle. “‘Hear them bossin’ me around, dad? Give me some good Greek magic, and ‘d pop ‘em over the head with some good alcoholic magic, what’d you say? Some good father/son time?”

The bottle gave no response, for it was just a bottle, and not a greek god. Demoman was undejected, and tipped the bottle back, emptying the contents into his mouth. 

“Y’know, ‘m not even fully convinced this wasn’t some fancy lightshow.” Sniper declared, pointing at the dying flames. “I betcha somehow roped Engie into this, make it look like some fancy-schmancy lightshow.” Engineer turned, pointing a finger at the Aussie. “Right, now I may have my doubts about this entire event, but I did NOT help the Medic fake all this.” Medic frowned, looking between the two men. “You think I faked this?!’ He cried, sounding insulted. “ _ Et Tu,  _ Herr Engineer?! I believed you were on my side!” Engie sighed deeply. “Doc, your evidence was some blood results, a romance book from the dollar store, and you had at least three drinks in you before you started talkin’.”

Medic frowned, leaning back and crossing his arms, “I at least have an excuse for zhe drinking, it’s October.” Engineer sighed, waving his hand dismissively. “To be honest, I don’t give a damn. ‘M ready to go take a nap.” Scout wiped his eye, removing the last of his laughter tears, “Ah, cmon hard-hat, don’t you wanna throw something into the fire, get ya ‘ _ godly parent _ ’ to say hi?” The Texan scoffed, looking at the younger man. “I don't know ‘bout the rest of y’all, but MY old man was Frederick Helen Conagher-” “HELEN?! Oh my _ god _ …” “And my Ma was Ingrid Doris O’Harra. Neither of them were gods, just good, honest and hard-workin’ people, who were HAPPILY married for a good handful of decades.” Spy raised a brow as the Texan finished his rant, silently blowing out some smoke. “A happy marriage doesn’t guarantee everything, labourer. The Gods are a tricky bunch, surely there must have been one time… Perhaps your beloved father was drunk one night, or your mother had a sip or two of champagne-” 

In an instant, the Engineer had his wrench out, and his eyes were still hidden behind his goggles, but burning into Spy’s head. “Now listen here.” He said lowly, fist shaking in barely concealed rage. “If you even  _ consider  _ either one of my parents as people who would… willingly stray from their vows, one more time-” Spy leaned back, smiling cooly. “I’m not questioning your parents  _ undying affection _ , Engineer.” Took a deep drag from his cigarette. “I am merely asking if they ever had been  _ baisé _ by a divide Greek being.”  The Texaned snarled and made a lunge for the smug Frenchman, but Soldier quickly sprung forward and held him back.

“Woah there, private! Direct your attention to the German manic, the plan of overpowering the cowardly Frenchman isn’t due until next week!” Soldier insisted, proud that his fellow American was willing to fight at a moment's notice, but it was all for nought if he beat up the Frenchie too soon! The Texan ignored him, hissing out curses as he furiously waved his wrench just out of reach of Spy’s smug face. Scout watched the spectacle, then decided to intervene… In the worst way possible.

“Yo, Soldier! Toss Engie into the fire, maybe he’ll cool down then!”

Engie stopped his struggles, looking at the Bostonian in confusion and a touch of concern, “Boy, what is with you and tossin’ people into a bonfir- WOAH!” He cried out in alarm, as Soldier effortlessly lifted the shorter man over his head, before turning to the dying embers of the bonfire. “JANE, I SWEAR TO GOD-!”

“GODS, PRIVATE! You better remember that when you come back from respawn!” With a valiant war-cry, Soldier tossed the man into the fire, with Pyro clapping enthusiastically and the other Mercs watching the spectacle in interest.

Engineer would go to his grave, swearing upon God,  _ Gods  _ and everything in between, that he did NOT scream like a frightened girl. The other Mercs would cheerfully go their graves, disagreeing and forever attempting to recreate the high-pitched wail that had sprung from Engineers voice box.

They never could succeed at recreation of that unholy screech, or the fact that the flames were completely non-harmful to the Texan, a fact he only came upon realizing when his voice cracked and sputtered into silence. He slowly sat up, eyes wide as the remnants of the fire flickered over him, a bit uncomfortably warm, but not skin-burning or deadly. “Woah, did ya douse yourself in… I don’t know,  _ anti-fire _ before tonight, Hard-hat?!” Scout asked, and Heavy gave him a look, “Engineer is smart. I do not think he is smart enough to repel fire.” Engineer raised his arm, ignoring the others and staring at the flames that danced over his sleeve, not burning though the fabric, nor the skin on his arm. “Holy mother of g-” “GODS.” “ _ Shut it, _ Jane.”

Medic was near him in an instant, gloved hands tugging him out of the fire. His eyes darted over the shorter man, grinning widely. “I knew it… _I_ _knew it,_ It vas the only one zhat truly made sense!” Ice blue eyes met goggles, and the grin widened manically. “ _Mein friend,_ THIS is proof in itself. You are a child of zhe Gods, Hephaestus to be exact!” Medic went to go put his hand on the shorter man's shoulder, but yelped and quickly retracted when his sleeve caught aflame. “ _Scheiße!_ Demo, wine!” Demoman, without moving too far from his spot lying on the ground, reached over and took Spys wine bottle, ignoring the protest. He tossed the bottle to Medic, who quickly poured it onto his arm, dousing the flames… And after a thoughtful pause, turned and poured the contents of the wine over Engineers head, killing the flames that clung to him.

As Pyro mumbled in disappointment, Engineer’s eyes were wide as he struggled to comprehend this… sudden development. “But… No, NO. My mother… She would NOT sleep with any other man except her husband.” He said forcefully, whacking Medic and the wine bottle away, ignoring the Frenchman's complaints. “Listen, I don’t give a rat's behind whatever you can ‘ _ prove _ ,’ for I can tell you without a SHRED of doubt, that my parents, especially my mother, NEVER got... _ personal _ with some divine Greek being!” Medic raised his hands defensively, “Engineer, please. If you are so certain-” “I’m POSITIVE,” He snapped, eyes narrowed as he stepped closer to the German Doctor. “You better set me up for a proper blood test, doc, because I can assure you, that I am not, ABSOLUTELY NOT the child of a Greek g-”

“ _ PYRO IS ON FIRE! _ ”

Engineer didn't turn, “Scout, Pyro is usually on fire. That’s nothing new.”

Sniper was gawking at the masked, now aflame being as well, leaning away from them. “Nuh-uh, he’s not burning up this time!” Now both Engineer and Medic turned, brows raised, before Medic’s jaw dropped, quickly followed by Engineers. “... Hold on.” He mumbled, reaching over to brush against the flames on Pyro’s shoulder. The flames quickly latched onto his glove, but didn’t burn, just like the previous flames that had shown his godly status. Engie stared at the flames, then slowly looked into the blank, gasmask eyes on Pyro’s mask. Pyro was motionless, then suddenly lunged at the Texan, screeching out a word that, while Engie couldn’t quite hear the exact voice that said it, horrifying understood the word spoken.

“ _BROTHER!”_

Engie cried out as he was tackled to the ground by a flaming Pyro, and the other Mercs burst into chatter. 

“Woah, you never said we could be  _ RELATED _ , doc!” Scout cried loud above the others, eyes wide as he looked between the stunned Texan and the hugging Pyro, who was mumbling so fast it was just continuous, unintelligible cheerful chatter from within the suit. Medic looked troubled, but nodded, “Vell… I vasn’t expecting ZHIS, of course… But I suspected at least something of zhis nature Vould occur.” Demoman looked up warily, eyeing the few Mercs that had so far gone unclaimed. “Wait, are you saying I could be related to one of  _ them _ ?!” He asked in horror, pointing at three out of the four unclaims. Scout frowned, sitting up, “Hey, being related to me ain’t that bad!” Demo scoffed, rolling his eyes.    
  


“Ain’t no way I could be your brother, laddie. Your daddy certainly ain’t-” Unintelligible screeching sounded, and Soldier suddenly flew at the Scotsman, silencing him before he could continue his speech on Scouts fraternal heritage. Spy hid his relief.

Heavy watched curiously, before turning to his German friend. “Doktor, you say we ALL have Gods blood, yes?” He asked, and Medic nodded, quickly scrambling over to his notes. “Ja, here, take a look!” He handed off the file to the larger man, who took it and gingerly began to flip through it, eyes narrowed and calculating. “As you can see, the DNA stops short on several critical points on the paternal or maternal scale.” “This is Engineer’s, yes?” He asked, already flipping onto another page. Medic nodded, and continued his rant, “ Yes, and isn’t it  _ fascinating _ ? In those papers, holds the very first scientifically documented evidence of Divine DNA, flowing through a humans blood system!  _ Mein god _ -” “GODS MAGGOT!” “ _ Mein gods _ , now that I discovered this incredible development, the possibilities are endless.” Medic grinned manically, looking around his teammates hungrily. “Oh, if I could just get  _ ONE _ of you into mein lab-”

“Engineer father is documented.” Heavy grunted, causing Engineer to look over hopefully, and Medic to frown. “Well, yes. Officially documents will  _ claim _ Mr. Fredrick as the father, but the results say-” “He  **is** the father.” Heavy said, shoving the paper towards Medic. “Engineer’s father was Conagher. But documents show Conagher was not human.”

Engie blinked, and quickly moved over to Medic’s side, Pyro refusing to relinquish their grip on his leg. “Now hold on a second, let me see that…” He snatched the paper from the doctor, eyes scanning the paper. “What does it say, laborer?” Spy asked, sounding almost curious. Engineer frowned deeper, moving his goggles up to look at the paper with bare eyes. Medic spoke up, “ _ Herr Conagher _ , your father lived with your mother all your life, yes?” He asked, and only then did engineer look up. ‘...Y-Yes he did.” Medic nodded, “And before your birth?” Dell nodded, eyes drifting back down at the paper. “ _ Mein friend _ , zhis is a… sensitive question, but I vant you to zhink carefully.” Medic said lowly, eyes not focused but already building up the perfect hypothesis in his mind. There was a tense silence all around the campfire, except for Pyro who still mumbled cheerfully.

“But, vas zhere ever a point where your father performed magic?”

“Oh my  _ GOD _ .” Sniper shouted, causing everyone to jump as he shot to his feet. “You two think ‘m an idiot, do you?” He pointed between Heavy and Medic, eyes narrowed. “Seriously, you’ve got everyone ‘ere falling for your little magic show, with fancy lights and whatever whack gizmos that kept Engie from burning to a crisp-” Now Sniper began to pace and rant, while the others took the moment to refill on beers, watch with raised eyebrow, or slump down onto a log with a masked Pyro still clinging to their leg. “-And if ya think I am gonna waste MY night anymore then it already has been, ya got another thing comin’...  _ AND QUIT IT WITH THE BLOODY OWLS, MATE! _ We both know they aint real!”

Medic frowned, looking at where Sniper was yelling and pointing accusatorily at… Which happened to be Heavy’s shoulder. An owl, not un-identical to the one that had claimed Medic, nestled snugly on the Russians shoulder, gold eyes looking between Medic and Heavy coolly. The German and the Russian met eyes, and for a moment, they both just looked at each other in astonishment.

Then, in unison, they raised their bottles and clinked them together, grinning widely. “ _ Bruder. _ ” Medic said with a laugh, “I  _ knew  _ zhere vas a reason I liked you! You and I have the same intelligence genius as vas vith our  _ mutter!”  _  Heavy grinned, slinging an arm over the considerably shorter mans shoulder, “Know what this mean? Chess match, see who is more genius!” Medic scoffed, “Please, It’s not a contest… I vould vin, no doubt.”

“Bah, you haven’t played against me.”

“Heavy, I can assure you, as the  _ superior _ sibling with a medical license-”

“License was rebuked, you have no leverage over Heavy. We play, and Heavy wins.”

“Ah ha ha,  _ I disagree with that statement- _ ”

“Are ya seriously just, just…  _ accepting _ this?!” Sniper cried, turning to the other mercs, who merely shrugged in response while the gunman and the doctor bickered, challengingly. “I dunno, maybe? I mean, learning that my ol’ man was really just some really badass greek god, and not a jackass who ditched my mom would be cool!” Scout said, and there was a long silence from everyone, before Soldier coughed. Spy stayed silent as Sniper quickly steered the conversation away, “‘right, but do you HONESTLY want to believe we’re the ‘children of Gods’?” Sniper demanded, rolling his eyes. “I mean, doesn’t that sound a bit insane to ya?!”

“Ah, I get it,” Demo said suddenly, grinning sympathetically at the Sniper. “Ya feel  _ left out _ , dontcha?” Sniper felt his eyelid twitch as he glared at the Scotsman. “Wot, ya think I have some  _ DADDY _ issues or something?!” Medic looked over, pausing his conversation with his newly-found relative. “Actually, your father shares your DNA. It’s your mother zhat's a goddess.” Sniper growled, then stopped over to the dying embers of the fireplace, his boots kicking up remnants of the charred wood. “Fine, FINE.” He snapped, standing in the center of the dead bonfire, eyes fierce behind his glasses and hair still askew from his now absent hat. “Ya wanna claim my dad screwed a god, ya wanna still keep talking about how imma ‘child of gods’?” Sniper growled, exasperated and tired, and  _ dammit the man just wanted his hat… _

Sniper leaned back, cupping his hands around the mouth before yelling up at the sky. “OI! PROVE ME WRONG, DO SOMETHING!” Soldier cursed, pounding his fist onto the log beside him. “ _ Dammit _ , another man lost to the holds of insanity! This is a tragic day, troops! Too many mental casualties tonight!” Engie spoke up, with a slight glare. “Soldier, if anyone lost his insanity on this ‘tragic’ day, I think it would be the man who _ threw me into the fire _ …”

“It was for the greater good!”

“No, Scout just egged you on, and, amazingly,  _ you listened!” _

Meanwhile, Sniper was still taunting up at the sky, while Spy watched in boredom, taking a small sip from his nearly-empty wine glass. “Bushman, I think you’ve scared them off.” He drawled sarcastically, rolling his eyes as the man ignored his jab, and continued shouting up to the stars and the full moon. “Cmon! Lightening, sudden rain… DO SOMETHING!” He challenged, and Scout looked hopefully at Soldier. “Can I go get that branch now?” Engineer stood up, Pyro now clinging securely on his back like a baby koala, arms wrapped around his neck. “Boys, I have a headache, and some family issues to work out.” He announced, grabbing his hat and a half-empty beer. “‘M off to bed. You handle this.” He began walking off, albeit a bit slower with a suited Merc cheerfully clinging to him, legs dragging after them. Demoman waved him off, before turning back to the group, “Ah, brotherly love, am I right?” He said with a grin. 

Another frustrated yell from Sniper cut him off, and Demo looked at him, “Oi! Thought you were suppose to be tha quiet one!” He shouted back, and Sniper looked over at Medic, eyes triumphant. “See, nothin’.” He insisted, before grabbing his kukri from the log, before starting to poke around the charred remains of the fire. “And now with Engie gone, I can finally pull out the fancy lighting system ya put in the ground!” Medic snorted, before turning back to Heavy, “Ja, have fun vith zhat.” “I WILL!” Sniper snapped back, while soldier turned and began to describe a plan to overtake the Aussie. Spy ignored the chatter, looking over at the Sniper with a raised brow. “Bushman.” He called, but Sniper only gritted his teeth, ignoring the call.

A sigh from the Frenchman, “Lawrence, listen.” Sniper looked over, eyes dark. “Wot.” He snapped, and Spy nodded to his kukri, “Humor us for a second. Place a drop of blood into the fire,” He instructed nonchalantly, blowing out some smoke. Sniper rolled his eyes, “Wot, is there gonna be some ‘ _ magic _ ’ happening if I do?” Spy didn’t respond, only watching cooly. The Aussie sighed, before raising the tip of the blade to his thumb, barely wincing as he gave the skin a small slice. “Fine, whatevah.” He grumbled, holding his hand over the embers, watching a few drops of blood fall and sizzle on the burnt wood. “There, happy?” Sniper said sarcastically, turning over to the Spy.

Spy smirked knowingly, looking above the Snipers head, which directed everyone else's attention. After a moment, the smirk faded and he frowned slightly, “Hm. Appears as though you shouted at the gods so much, none want to claim you.” He stated, and Sniper, with a sinking feeling in his stomach, slowly looked up.

Above his head, a smoky symbol was attempting to form, but the shape continuously wavered and stopped, as though unable to fully form. After a moment, the smoke slowly formed into something entirely different from the silver blur it had begun as, leaking into a bright gold color. Snipers face kept falling and falling as the symbol took place, a sort of… golden stringed instrument. Medic raised his brow, looking a bit confused. “Apollo? But… Your DNA results clearly state zhat-” 

“Shut up.”

Snipers voice was quiet, and held no real venom, but he was already grabbing his kukri, avoiding looking at the symbol above his tousled hair. “Im goin’ to bed. ‘M done for today.” He said, grabbing his stuff and quickly moving away. Scout frowned, looking at the man, “Snipes, dude, ya ok…?” Scout made a mistake of reaching out to the man, and Sniper jerked back. “No, ‘m pissed and tired, and ‘m sick of some bloke tellin’ me my PARENTS AREN’T EVEN RELATED TO ME.” His quiet, irritated voice escalated to a shout, aimed directly at Medic, who regarded him firmly. “Herr Sniper, vait-” “No, _fuck_ waitin’.” Sniper said, walking away from the group. “‘M goin’ to bed, and goin’ to pretend this never happened.”

He stomped off away from the group, eyes narrowed and avoiding looking directly at the golden mark above his head. Medic may have the evidence of DNA on his side, but Lawrence Mundy had instincts and gut feelings, and he trusted those far more than he trusted a slightly intoxicated doctor. 

Sniper made a beeline to his van. He had some things to do.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Medic was rubbing his chin thoughtfully, glancing at the fire where Sniper had dropped some of his blood. “Nein… not right.” He said, looking up at the others. “Herr Sniper DOES share a parental link with his father, the results didn’t lie, and I certainly  _ did not _ mess up.” He stated firmly, grabbing the file. “I don’t know VHAT that was just now, but I can tell you this-” He pulled out Snipers results, pointing at a vacant spot where his mother’s bloodline should be. 

“ _ Herr  _ Sniper has a Greek mother, not Apollo. The question is, vhy did that symbol appear?”

A pause, then Medic lowered the paper, looking at Spy in suspicion, who raised a brow at the sudden attention.

“And also, how did you know the claiming vould vork?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PART 3  
> Coming November 18th
> 
> GAME OF THRONES AU  
> PART 1  
> November 10th
> 
> See y'all there!

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 comes on November 8th, hope to see ya'll there!


End file.
